7 ways to your optimal wellbeing
As a leadership and life coach I meet stressed out, burned out, overloaded people from all walks of life and at all levels of their career all the time. I used to be one of them. Left unchecked, stress and burnout can infiltrate and damage every part of your life, home and work, but it doesn’t have to be this way.
My C.A.L.M.I.N.G model gives you seven key factors, all backed up by positive psychology research, which will enable you to reset your balance and supercharge your wellbeing.
CONNECT:
We’re social creatures, us human beings. Having quality social connections is vital to our emotional, mental and even physical health and wellbeing. Meaningful connection with others has proven links to living longer, being more resilient, being physically healthier, feeling happier and even being less sensitive to pain. Although the amount and nature of social connection we need is different for all of us, all of us need some of it - including even the most introverted among us. The need to feel connected to other people is hard-wired into our DNA, just like the need for food and water is, so it’s really important for your wellbeing that you’ve got rich and positive relationships and moments of meaningful connection with others.
Tips: Challenge yourself to connect, in person, with at least one other person today - even if it’s sharing a quick smile with a stranger or starting a conversation with someone serving you in a shop, or, if you can, engage in a proper conversation that goes beneath the surface with someone close to you. Read chapter 4 ‘Belong’ of my book which covers the topics of connection and loneliness and offers some helpful tips to boost your feelings of connection and belonging.
APPRECIATE:
It’s physically impossible for your brain to be in a negative state when you’re genuinely feeling deep gratitude for things in your life. Focussing on appreciating what is right, instead of on what’s wrong, can alter your entire brain chemistry. This doesn’t mean denying or diminishing any suffering or struggles you’re experiencing, because it’s important to make space for them too, but if you make a conscious decision to create time and space to be grateful for those things that are right then this can shift your entire mindset.
Tip: At least once a day, morning or evening, write down at least three things you’re grateful for in your life - they might be small, such as the fact that you have a roof over your head, or that you have access to hot water which others don’t, or that you have food in your belly or at least one person in the world who cares for you. Instead of just writing them down for the sake of it, allow yourself to think about the significance of these things and actually feel the gratitude and appreciation.
LEARNING:
Learning something new feels brilliant, and that’s no mistake. Back in ancient times the survival of our species needed us to be able to learn new skills and adapt quickly to changing or threatening situations. That’s why our brains are wired to crave learning and to feel good when we learn. Without the right kind of stimulation we can quickly stagnate and feel down and depressed.
Tip: Commit to learning something new today. It might be finding out some new information, learning a new skill, or discovering a different perspective.
MOVEMENT & SLEEP:
Our bodies and brains need three basic things to function: movement, sleep and nutrition. Nutrition is covered later in Nourish, so here we’ll touch on movement and sleep. The ideal range of sleep for an adult is 7-9 hours per night. Sometimes factors outside your control may make that difficult, such as young babies, but many of us have adopted unhelpful habits like being on our devices too late, drinking too much caffeine, not getting enough exercise, that also don’t help.
When it comes to very common and easy to have a sedentary life nowadays. Especially since so many of us work from home and even the morning commute is no longer a chance to have a walk. Your body is designed to move and be active and research is showing the link between physical and mental health is not to be underestimated.
Tip: Invest in a fitness tracker to monitor how much you’re moving (many phones have these built in if you can’t afford one). Find exercises that you love and make them as much of a part of your week as you can. Even if you can’t do as much as you’d like, a little is better than nothing. More physical activity will also improve your sleep. Check out chapter 3, Be Well, of my book and the companion resources for that chapter which contain more tips and information.
INNER WORLD:
Isn’t the world just SO LOUD sometimes? It’s almost impossible not to get sucked into what’s going on outside and around us, busying ourselves to the extreme - because busy is good, right. Right?
What’s more important and frequently neglected, is your inner world and nurturing that. By inner world I’m referring to understanding yourself, your true nature, your values, your inner voice that guides you towards who you are and the life that’s right for you. Nurturing your inner world may involved things like formal meditation or mindfulness (which there’s bundles of evidence showing how beneficial they are to wellbeing), or it could be as simple as taking a few minutes to check in with how you’re feeling and asking yourself what you need right now.
Tip: Give yourself a little time alone with no phone and no agenda, even if it’s just 10 minutes, and ask yourself how you’re doing and what you need. Check out some of the mindfulness and mediation apps that are available too. Headspace, Calm and Insight Timer are three highly recommended ones. There are loads of beginners resources available designed to help people who think they can’t meditate learn how.
NOURISH:
‘Nourish’ covers the food, water and nutrition you put into your body. Like movement and sleep, nutritious food and drink is a foundation of optimal wellbeing. Nourish also includes however, what you consume mentally, emotionally and energetically by the things you watch, read, listen to and the people and situations you give our time and energy to. Do they energise or drain you? How can you tip the balance more towards the former?
Tips: Curate your social media, news & entertainment, and the people you give your energy to, to contain things that nourish and energise you rather than drain or dumb you down. Ensure you’re eating 3 nutritionally balanced meals a day, avoiding processed foods and drinking enough water.
GIVING:
Finally, there’s buckets of research showing that one thing that makes us feel good, improves feelings of belonging and purpose, and causes other people to want to be kind towards others in turn, is kindness and giving. Whether it’s helping someone with a task or a chore, giving time or money to someone who needs it, or some other act of kindness, a single act of giving and ‘doing good’ have a positive impact on wellbeing that does not only affect the giver, it also positively impacts their friends, their friends’ friends and their friends’ friends’ friends (with an estimated 1 act of kindness impacting up to a total of 125 people!)
Tips: Do something kind for someone else today (without posting about it on social media!)
These are your 7 key steps to wellbeing and all of them can be applied straight away. You can learn more about CALMING and optimising your wellbeing in chapter 4 of my book How to be a People Person.
#bewell #wellbeing #CALMINGwaystowellbeing